A few things about being forty, forget about the late night party, the days they seem shorter the nights they seem longer because of hitting the bed early.
By now I've lost a few of my parts, my endless energy soon departs but I still have my wit each time I stop and sit, a little slow on my restarts.
A time to evaluate my lessons, wiser though my memory lessens, I find I work smarter, coffee a kick starter, still here for my daughter and sons.
Don't get me wrong, I can still work hard, I find time to work in my yard, and I still have my health, a small amount of wealth, I'm smiling, this happy old bard.
So today is the day of the hunt with their baskets they push to the front reach for every bright egg hidden nooks and craig then to eat on the egg salad front.
Through the candy and chocolate too and stuffed animals cozy and new my daughters Easter dress is always a success and my son even polished his shoe.
Then we sober over Easter brunch all the food is served way after lunch then the kids curl up we are done with our sup with not one eye open in the bunch.
A day that brings my children great joy whether its my girl or my boy to feel love in family in all this pageantry and bring in the spring with Easter toys.
Coney Island Limericks
Wish we wouldn't have ate at Nathan's now the Tilt-A-Whirl was in our plans still nauseous on the train by the Stadium crane, also on the ocean beach sands.
At the top of the Ferris Wheel I also think about our last meal although the sight is grand I wish we would find land, so this is how Coney Island feels.
But after the snacks and the ride, after watching the ocean's salt tide, we will pack up our things as rollercoaster sings, say goodbye to the giant slide.
Then up the stairs to the subway, the evening giving in to the cold grey, we are tucked in our jackets, open new toy packets, fall asleep with nothing to say.
Car Cleaning Day Limericks
On the matter of cleaning ones car when cleanliness is not up to par hotter than an oven this car need some lovin the stinkiest of jobs so far.
The more I let stress get me upset the nastier my car seems to get the junk food wrappers pages from copiers some homework I shouldn't forget.
The baby cloths I didn't drop off tissues from when I had a cough some water from a run that would have been real fun a moisture that makes me scoff.
There is an orange from a sports event some bills that were never sent its really obscene this devilish scene banana peels began to ferment.
Coffee mugs that may contain lead tools that I used to help my friend Fred Oh, its finally clean a sight to be seen until next time this has to be said.
Some Limericks on Holiday Treats
When I think on those Holidays past the season it goes by too fast probably the sugar with butter and flour this Holiday sugar rush won't last.
Sugar cookies are no longer shared the frosting was so thickly layered each bite I felt the rush a sort of cookie lush the type where the sprinkles are paired.
In the basket is more than cookies this shortbread was not made by rookies a morsel of delight a Pecan Ball in sight Oh! Take this wager to the bookies.
Even now I feel slightly sick with no sugar to make me tick Wait! Some hidden chocolate enough to keep me late but again it will be gone too quick.
Soon the day of the Turkey will be a collection of friends, family, we show love with each hug our home all warm and snug, a safe haven where the seconds are free.
Soon with close siblings we will unite, bringing dish after dish to fill the night, beginning with the cheese, Oh, pour me some wine please, only a matter of time for the fight.
We have safely made it through the hor's d'ouvres the Turkey is carved and ready to serve then we pile up our plates, get through grace with posthaste, to stuff our faces with no reserve.
Now we sit with hands on our bellies no space left for Cranberry Jellies, with proper gratitude a Holiday attitude, we sink down in front of the Tele.
Limericks for Halloween
All year we wait for Halloween night each child an unbelievable sight, my girl an astronaut, vampire from Salem's lot, a werewolf to bring us quite a fright.
My sister and I put on our mask grab empty bags to be brought to task. October night, winged bats fly down by crouched black cats. In moonlight monsters lay out to bask.
As we moan the classic "Trick or Treat" from door to door with hurried feet to avoid any ghouls, or any witch's schools, no monsters in dark for us to meet.
Then we hide in our home with candy as we quote our Halloween decree "Without a bellyache, for this holidays sake, we can't enjoy our scary movie.
More Hiking Boot Limericks
I walked our mountain trails in flip flops, more than once I slipped off rock tops, a huge scrape on my knee a scar for all to see needed new boots to hit all the stops.
My new boots wait for me after work I remember the trail veers at fork I hear each switchback call new trails I found in fall ready for each foots new found torque.
And although limericks are just for fun it is better to be at a run in the brush with a dash trying hard not to crash these long mountain trails in the sun.
To remember the hills of Limerick new boots to make you helluva quick in the great outdoors over here on our shores where the greenery grows just as thick.
Limericks About Manure
It is hard to write about the pit, no place, no home, in modern lit., this pit of manure with stink and flies for sure, temptation to use the rhyme of sit.
Is it that long in our history? Plots of land owned by citizenry, we would save pets manure for our fertilizer to enhance our home grown greenery.
Instead of playing in small backyards far away from our parental guards finding the first pit of poop the first to fall from the group to be teased at our local schoolyard.
This takes me back to primary point it's difficult to write a good joint about smelly old pits sends my nostrils to fits in this case shouldn't was not don't.
Limericks From Fatherhood: Year Three
Around the time the children learn to walk they have gotten down the premise of talk, they practice the word "no" our progress seems to slow or feels outlined by policeman's chalk.
They tantrum if they don't get their way, teach that this behavior has no sway, parenting really starts, patience becomes fine arts, as you prove the rules are what YOU say.
This new kid energy makes you crazed and sometimes those kids are just plain lazed, learning is now messy, attitudes are sassy, if you hold on tight you will be amazed
'Cause they still snuggle with their blankie and want hugs when their feeling cranky, suck their fingers or thumbs, they still eat and leave crumbs, remind you they are still your babies.
Family Bike Ride Limericks
First day the weather gave us a chance grabbed up our bikes without a second glance not riding anywhere except into spring air our taking off like the Tour de France.
With baby thrown into the trailer I peddle as my son becomes blur and hopefully with luck won't need to get my truck to deal with multiple flat tires.
Through the wind with our streamline helmets getting rid of our long winter fits each and every new ride we hit the road and glide this really is as good as it gets.
Limericks For The Morning After (Movie Night)
There was small family from the city who, just like families from the country would haul out the movies and bowl up the candies to prepare for the night on Friday.
We'll have floats watching Harry Potter in the blankets begins clutter enjoying Oz's witch make a nice chocolate switch or maybe some popcorn with butter.
We throw up our arms for "Movie Night!" our throw blanket living rooms a sight Lewis and his Wardrobe, our modern Shakespeare's "Globe," yet, sometimes waking can be a fright.
The next morning with sleep in my eyes, and a mess that can only bring sighs, where is Spiderman now, maybe a hefty plow to clean wrappers of laughter and cries.
Limericks For the First Day At the Beach
When the heat is too much for our crew HOT! When we finally get the clue, grab a bag for picnics yearn for those sandy kicks with some chairs and a blow up boat too.
It is funny how attitudes change when children act like they have the mange there is suddenly joy with each childs beach toy, there are laughs with each sunblock exchange.
It only takes one time to forget to bring a large shade structure to set so the baby can sleep in the shade and wont weep, sunbathing until our needs our met.
My wife and I will swim when we can, the first to reach the buoy is our plan, there is luck with each touch and we both need it much when we go home with our darkened tan.
Bachelor Party Limericks
Traditional Bachelor Party the ones cited throughout history, I'd rather be involved with something more evolved, the new exhibit at gallery?
But then I am a family man with my children whenever I can, please don't hire a stripper we would embarress her, I have hated this since time began.
I had a friend who went to arcade quarter after quarter in games he played, but his wife didn't mind she thought him quite the find, not to quest on some bachelor crusade.
It's the part of the wedding I dread never a simple breaking of bread, I'd rather look at stars then find myself in bars, nevermind this is when I'm in bed.
First Grade Limericks for Boys
This my first, on the seats, to be seen by the driver who hollers so mean, what we think is funny she thinks is crummy, there our boogers are seen brilliant green.
Before class us boys on the playground in a circle have gathered around to impress the girls with straight hair or curls we all take turns making farting sounds.
We all hurry to class at the bell to hear what the teacher has to tell we learn science and math to follow the right path and determine who is it that smells.
Soon it is time for our recess releasing energy in excess boys and girls both run enjoy the heat of sun our education we digress.
Soon we are back from our break sit in our chairs for learnings sake it is hard to sit still before school's last bell laugh at the belch Warren's mouth makes.
Back home the driver keeps an eye but we are too tired to try we just want to go home to just sit there and zone and watch cartoon Superman fly.
Sunday Sheet Fort Limericks
When we're stuck in the house on Sunday, when the rain hampers our outdoor play so my sister and I we must think on the fly to keep ourselves active all day.
We'll get the chairs from the kitchen our focus on our new mission grab all of our house sheets Dad's new sheets with the pleats rare moments when we both did listen.
With a light breeze and pillows we sleep mischievous boys begin to creep as quick as it was built our fabric wall spilt from each boy who finished each leap.
Wouldn't say fort building is reckless it never lasts long I confess a lasting memory photo for all to see another chance for a household mess.
Family Sick Day Limericks
There is no worse of a nightmare here when a contagion has brought us near whether a cough or flu it has happened to you thrown our family into grips of fear.
These days off have angered my work and more days in the future still lurk we all have a fever hand me pain reliever Hey Boss! No need to be such a jerk.
Oldest just got the cough from the youngest Vitamin C to help us resist not our first household plague this devious ague and we are all on it's long list.
But I have been reading some Ogden Nash to read those rhymes that are such a bash though I don't feel silly still feel more grumpy after this cough syrup I will crash.
Old Fashion Christmas Limericks For Under the Tree
At the end of every Thanksgiving, the end of the meal worth saving, find myself in garage to muscle and dislodge boxes where Christmas mice are playing.
To pack our children in their car seats and fill their bellies with Christmas treats off! To go get our tree no better place to be then out in the cold praying for heat.
With peppermint hot chocolate in hand we hang the lights on the tree as planned Dad hangs up the tinsel our Christmas bells jingle on the best tree in our Christmas land.
Our mantle becomes a Christmas town multiple porcelain Santas found Where every wreath is placed our candy canes to taste now to wait on our Christmas Countdown.
Alpine Skiing Limericks
Riding on chair lift I hold tight having some fear of such great height but nothing can compare to the chill mountain air, view from the top is always a sight.
With wind on your face, you feel free to flail and fall where people can see, there's a chance I'm not hurt and with fate I will flirt to speed to the lodge, I have to pee!
So break out my ski and my boot early in the morning I recruit and out into the snow our family will go a day on the slopes is always a hoot.
Drink Hot Chocolate out by the snowplow tend to our wounds, every ouch and oww, to remember each turn next time we will learn, for now let's go home for some chow.
Limericks for My Old Hiking Boots
There is a bit of work for the view, after first blister I am all through, but I'll never admit how gross these wounds can get, Oh, thank God for these boots all brand new.
An incline is truly exhausting and sometimes your calve muscles, they sing, stories around campfires, this part never tires, as much as a good day of climbing.
We will set up our small sterno stoves set up to sleep near some Aspen groves, an eye out for bears with our thousand yard stares in the chill we will put on our gloves.
Spent all day walking up this mountain where pollen falls as if a fountain, to find waterfalls and yodel out calls or crack open a potted meat tin.
Morning with instant coffee galore, every muscle in your body sore, stretch the cold from your bones, get out your morning groans, head home after our overnight tour.
Limericks From Fatherhood: Year One
You've welcomed the newest to your life with hugs and with kisses from your wife in time you might despair and wonder how unfair no one told about hidden strife.
It is hard to not sleep for a year you both keep your eyes open with fear that you may fall asleep when baby does not peep to be woken by screams loud and clear.
Then there is a mess with their diapers a smell that climbs to the rafters when you get them held still to expose the large fill you realize you don't have wipers.
But there is silver that lines this cloud even though baby is sometimes loud they look into your eyes then come fatherly sighs their grip on your finger makes you proud.
Between dialogue of passengers and the train men doing their train chores there is the train whistle as loud as a pistol in the seats or behind cabin doors.
Young and old on the trains of Amtrack only a few luxuries we'll lack the rumbling of the wheels the hissing of door seals as my family takes a seat in back.
Unlike the train sets of Uncle Charles there are showers equipped with towels as the wheels glide on rail we can relax and sail a dining car when stomach growls.
Maybe this limericks bit outdated and the days of the trains are faded it never hurts to wish this never to finish, a gift history has created.
Limericks For Our Summer Pool
Our new pool!","Our new pool!" The kids cry in the heat with the hose I do sigh and it takes most the day for kids to splash and play never wonder how this is or why?
After filling that pool four feet deep the insects they take a great leap into our fresh new pool, maybe I am a fool to watch this giant pollen tea steep.
But the water it cools down the heat our summer crew in watery seat have a quick game of splash please don't fill up with trash from our year old whose found his quick feet.
These days I love to watch my kids swims with each stroke to stretch out their small limbs we know it is summer and nothing is funner, to take a dip with each heat drenched whim.
Limericks for Children's Bathtime
Was there ever a time with our kids when their knees were not covered with skids, with no dirt all around not a scuff to be found and the shampoo retained it's one lid.
You two get into that sudsy bath! Try to stay out of each others path! Brother hit with a splash! Sister falls with a crash! and beware angry parents fierce wrath!
My son he's moved up to the shower which leaves him a limited power to control all the spray to places far away to puddle for over an hour.
My daughter she tries her gymnastics she is really quite sly with her tricks when I bring out the suds she will send out the floods, I have caught a case of the bathtime tics.
So with every slow mile that we work in and with every soft hum that we're singin' there are millions more dirty spoiled diapers on baby, its too late to be cool, its too late son.
As we swim through this ocean of laundry and we drown in this ancient of quandaries what is one to do with this this is all so hit and miss as if living our lives is one big tease.
As I stare at the holes in my old shoes as I clean up behind this messy crew I hear limericks will bring smiles, yet I feel only denials, so I suffer from Anapestic blues.
Limericks for the County Dump
How did I collect so much big junk, graded on cleanliness I may flunk, will this fit in the truck? Three large loads with some luck, if we collect more we will be sunk.
Have this truck for a day and night the amount of my load is beyond sight but I have me good rope a bucket full of hope and desire to tie that rope tight.
With the kids in the cab we set out as we drive there's no lips with a pout, those kids love all that dirt through all splinters and hurt, when laughters heard on our old route.
We drove up on the switchback hillside, we were thankful for our country ride, our mountains of refuse tied tight never loose, better buried then moved by high tide.
Limericks for Ol' High School Friends
My friend Josh says he really loves his job and even though he likes Jack, Joe, and Bob he is American and of course wants to win, to take the million and ditch that ol' job.
My friend Mike he's been living in Peru with his wife and his children it's true works hard for his money there is nothing funny it is truly what we all have to do.
My ol' friend Chad has a daughter I've heard I am so happy i've heard thats occurred back in the days of school we were never quite cool not so much jocks but probably nerds.
My friend Ron is a true desert rat Ol' Norm and Ron they know where it's at up in the hilltops so high grasping their piece of pie out playing with their guns, Rat a Tat Tat.
Most of us are married with kids some have jobs, some have careers on the skids but all of us know we saw ourselves grow at a High School, in a town, off the grids.
A Parents Battle Cry
You just wash and you wash to just scrub the dirt from each dish and each counter till hands hurt when you think that you found clean when you hope that your floors gleam your small children throw up on your clean shirt.
Limericks for my Daughters First Days of School
So when I try to ask my daughter what information classes taught her I never get something I always get "nothing" I have to fish out every answer.
Even if in her lunchbox we send a sweet treat for her sweet tooth to tend there is no bribery for this school mystery all I will ever get is a "good."
She will give me her cutest smile the kind of smile that goes miles and miles "I play with my friends" the only thing she lends from her very secretive school file.
At least I know that she is happy by her every action I can see, She is in love with school her teachers always cool, when she needs to she will share with me.